Silencing ShameSeries: Voices. James Dewhurst January 31, 2021
21 Days of Fasting & Prayer – Today marks the end of our church-wide 21 days of fasting and prayer for God to revive us personally and corporately. I pray that God has been working in your heart, as he has been working in ours over the past 3 weeks!
Reading Plan – Although our fast is ending, our reading plan continues for the year! (realchurchohio.com) and on the Live Notes section of our App, for you to sign up for. This reading plan is designed to take our church through the entire Bible this year. We feel an urgency like never before to make sure the church is reading God’s Word!
All throughout Scripture God has a reoccurring history of forgiving sinners, redeeming lost or hopeless things, and giving fresh starts to hopeless people, whom he later uses to do incredible things. But in the space between our imperfection and God’s restoration is often the playground for a word called Shame. Shame is a progressive feeling of humiliation, regret, or disgrace over something wrong that was done. While conviction is a heavenly prompting to bring about a change in behavior, shame is a reoccurring voice that permanently attaches the trespass to the trespasser. Shame becomes an identity!
You can always tell that Shame is working When:
– “What I Did” turns into, “I Am What I Did!”
– “After failing to achieve”, “I Am now a failure for Not Achieving!”
– “What was done to me” becomes, “I Deserve what was Done To Me!”
Marilyn Sorensen – “Unlike guilt, which is the feeling of doing something wrong, shame is the feeling of being something wrong.”
Brene Brown – “Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.”
Ancient Proverb – “Shame is worse than death.”
Dr. Berne Brown – who has spent decades of her life specifically studying the effects of shame writes, “Shame is the intensely painful feeling that we are flawed, and therefore unworthy of love or belonging. The focus is on self, not on behavior, which leaves us feeling alone. Shame never leads us to positive change.”
Whether it is from a personal failure, something completely beyond your control, or an unmet goal, shame masterfully mutters “it’s over” giving no chance of a fresh start!
Shame comes from things we’ve done, haven’t done, and have been done to us!
But in stark contrast to the condemnation of Shame, God completely silences its shouts, by promising to restore (Compensate) everything that we have lost in our past if we will repent and trust in him:
25 I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you. 26 “You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the LORD your God, who has dealt wondrously with you. And my people shall never again be put to shame. (ESV)
7 Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion; instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot; therefore in their land they shall possess a double portion; they shall have everlasting joy. (ESV)
11 For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” (ESV)
1 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (ESV)
Although freedom is what the Bible has promised us, it’s not how we always live! Every one of us feels shame at certain moments over certain things, and when we do, it is like a straitjacket on the journey of life. Shame is constantly driving two enormous lies in our minds: “You’re never good enough”, and “Who do you think you are?”
Instead of silencing shame, most of the time we find ourselves silence by shame!
Since Shame always a dead end, instead of leading to positive change, it instead leads to addiction, depression, violence, aggression, suicide, and eating disorders.
Shame is the Swamp Land of the Human Soul!
> The 3 things that cause Shame to grow are Secrecy, Silence, and Judgement!
> The 3 things that cause Shame to leave are Grace, Forgiveness, and Empathy!
What breaks the Power of SHAME over our lives is to be loved regardless of our mistakes! The Bible paints one of the most vivid pictures of shame being overcome by empathy in:
1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2 Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them. 3 The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst 4 they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. 5 Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” 6 This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. 7 And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. 9 But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. 10 Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”]] (ESV)
-In this story, we see imperfect sinners attempt to condemn another imperfect sinner by dragging her out into public, and shaming her for the entire world to see!
-If sinners were more graceful to other sinners there would be a lot less shame!
-Instead of piling on, Jesus spoke up and defended her from their stones of shame!
-That woman not only walked away alive, she also walked away set free from shame!
Empathy reveals more about who we are than judgment ever will about others!
The power of Empathy is also seen in one of Jesus’ closes relationships while here on earth. Jesus told bold and brave Peter, after he pledged his undying allegiance to Jesus at the Last Supper, that before the rooster crows 3 times today, he would deny him. And guess what happened, in:
54 Then they seized him and led him away, bringing him into the high priest’s house, and Peter was following at a distance. 55 And when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat down among them. 56 Then a servant girl, seeing him as he sat in the light and looking closely at him, said, “This man also was with him.” 57 But he denied it, saying, “Woman, I do not know him.” 58 And a little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.” But Peter said, “Man, I am not.” 59 And after an interval of about an hour still another insisted, saying, “Certainly this man also was with him, for he too is a Galilean.” 60 But Peter said, “Man, I do not know what you are talking about.” And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. 61 And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, “Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times.” 62 And he went out and wept bitterly. (ESV)
15 When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” 16 He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” 17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. (ESV)
Do you want to know why Jesus asked Peter 3 times if he loved him? Because he wanted to give him the opportunity to replace his 3 No’s from yesterday with 3 Yes’s today!
Just one act of grace can break the power of shame off of somebody else’s life!
After the Egyptian orphan Moses grew up, he went out of the palace one day when he was about 25 years old, and saw a fellow Israelite slave being beaten by a soldier. He became so angry, he killed the abusing soldier and hid him in the sand. Moses for fear of his life ran away to Midian. One bad moment transitioned Moses from royalty to obscurity, where he would live for the next 40 years. But one day, from a burning bush, God called Moses to return to Egypt, face his greatest moment of shame, lead God’s people to freedom:
1 Now Moses was keeping the flock of his father-in-law, Jethro, the priest of Midian, and he led his flock to the west side of the wilderness and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. 2 And the angel of the LORD appeared to him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush. He looked, and behold, the bush was burning, yet it was not consumed. (ESV)
There are 3 things that Shame causes in the lives of its tormented victims:
1. Shame causes us to HIDE!
(Adam & Eve in Genesis 3:10 “I was afraid so I hid”)
When God spoke to Moses from that burning bush it was on the farthest backside of the desert at Horeb, which means: desert, desolation! Moses was hiding in shame!
2. Shame causes us to HURT!
(Wherever shame is driving, shame is riding shotgun!)
After God re-enlisted Him for service to Egypt, he responded back to God…“Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”
Shame is pervasive! It takes what we did and tells us it’s who we are all the time!
3. Shame causes us to HESITATE!
(Moses argued with God 5 times to get out of it!)
Regardless of your backside desert moment, God still has an assignment for you!
For years you’ve heard voices speak Shame on you! Today God speaks shame off you!