REAL Women Sisterhood Project
Our vision for this project is a sisterhood of all ages joining together as one, to serve the community and build lasting relationships. A Titus 2 group of women serving and mentoring all generations to see lasting change. The whole goal of a Titus 2 woman is to train other women in Biblical, simple-to-measure, Spirit-empowered, love-based living.
Paul did not call for Titus as the pastor to train all the women in the qualities that God wanted them to cultivate. Rather, He called upon the godly older women of Christ’s church. He singles out the women of faith, those who had already learned to love their husbands, learned to love their children, and learned to be reverent, godly, modest and wise—and charged them with seeking out and meeting with other younger women in the church. Mature women who were:
- Living as a Priest for God.
- Guarding their Tongues.
- Living without Excesses.
- Visible in their Integrity.
- Earnest Mentors of others.
- Wives who were their Husband’s Best Friends.
What is Spiritual Mentoring?
Spiritual mentoring is a relationship between mentor, mentee and the Holy Spirit. Through this relationship, the mentee seeks to discover what God is already doing in her life, and thereby grows in friendship with God, identity in God, and awareness of God’s call.
Mentoring is a relational experience in which one person empowers another by sharing God-given resources. Mentoring is making the mentor’s personal strengths, resources, and networks (friendships/ contacts) available to help a person grow and become.
A mentor is the person who shares God-given resources. A mentee is the person being empowered. The transfer between the mentor and mentee is called empowerment.
Mentoring is a relational process in which a mentor, who knows or has experienced something, transfers that something (resources of wisdom, information, experience, confidence, insight, relationships, status, etc.) to a mentee, at an appropriate time and manner, so that it facilitates development or empowerment. Mentoring is not just a fad or the latest new thing, but a relationship rooted in biblical principles. Anyone can mentor, provided they have learned something from God, and they are willing to share with others what they have learned. Whatever God has given you that has enabled you to grow and deepen your relationships with Him, you can pass on to others. Introducing young followers of Christ to the basics of spiritual growth is part of the process of discipling, which is the first and most basic mentoring type.
Who is the Mentor?
- One who creates a hospitable space of trust and intimacy.
- One who is able to discern God‘s action in the mentee.
- One who recognizes potential in people.
- One who is affirmed by others as having a life worthy of emulation.
- One who seeks to live a life of authentic holiness, spiritual maturity,biblical knowledge and wisdom.
- One who is familiar with contemplative prayer, listening and other spiritual discipline.
Interested in being a Mentor?
Who is the Mentee?
- One who desires spiritual growth and maturity.
- One who wants to ask questions about self, life, and God.
- One who is vulnerable in sharing intimate issues of life.
- One who is responsive and respectful to the directives of the mentor.
- To enhance intimacy with God, ultimate biblical identity, and a unique voice.
- To recognize and explain God‘s action in the mentee‘s life.
- To develop character by challenge and encouragement.
- To collectively discern God‘s direction in decision-making.
- To help in the making of life-changing decisions.
Steps to Mentoring
(Discover where they are and where they want to go!) Faith Journey Invite your mentee to write out her faith journey. Ask her to answer these questions: How did you come to faith? Would you currently describe yourself as a believer? Who are the important people in your faith development? What were significant events in your faith journey? What role did your family play in your faith? What crises in life or in belief have you faced? How is God blessing you at this point in your life? What questions do you have?
Questions about the Future:
- What quality in yourself would you like to develop or see God change this year?
- What is one relationship in your life you would like to see God strengthen, and how might this happen?
- What is one anxiety you have about the future and how do you deal with it?
- What do you anticipate happening in your life one year from now?
- In what ways do you hope things will change for your family in the year ahead?
- If God could do anything through you during the next decade, what would you hope to do?
- How would you like to be remembered by your friends and family?
- Where do you see yourself in ten years?
Interested in being a Mentee?
Purposes of this relationship:
Formulating Vision, Goals and Action Plans are important in the mentoring process. A mentoring relationship may begin by formulating a vision statement, goals, objectives and actionable learning activities.
Creating a vision statement helps you see yourself in a future role and answer the question, “What do I want for myself long term?” A vision statement should be written in present tense, aligned with your values, and provides a roadmap for making decisions, especially during times of change. The following questions provide a framework for formulating your vision statement.
- Where do you want to be?
- What do you want to be known for?
- What do you stand for?
- How are you making a difference?
What happens in a Mentoring Meeting?
A good space for mentoring must be safe and confidential. The mentee must feel sure that what she says in your meetings will not go beyond your meetings.
Listening is an art. Eye contact, body language and all non-verbal signs are central to listening. Listening also involves summarizing, clarifying, paraphrasing or reflecting the thoughts and feelings expressed by the speaker. Summarizing what your mentee has said and affirming her during the course of your meeting will build confidence and trust, especially in the early days.
The art of asking good questions is as challenging as that of being a good listener. Ask appropriate questions. Consider the depth of commitment and trust within your relationship. Ask questions that are appropriate to the depth. It will not work to pry to too deeply at the beginning. Conversely, if you are asking superficial questions after you have been meeting for a significant time, your meetings will be bland. Try to gently guide the relationship forward in each session. Let your questions slowly grow towards vulnerability and openness.
Ask focused questions. Get to the heart of the issue being explored
Ask open-ended questions. Elicit discussion. Questions that simply fill in the blank, or can be answered by yes‘ or no‘, will not lead anywhere. Ask “moderate” questions. Asking for ―superlatives creates unnecessary anxiety on the mentee. For example, instead of asking ―what was the best, most significant, most meaningful event in your childhood, ask,―what was a good, meaningful, or significant event. Ask clarifying questions. Give your mentee the opportunity to restate what she has said, so that you might grasp more fully her intent. Encourage her to explain why she thinks the way she does, or what brought her to certain conclusions.
Your mentee desires to meet with you, hear your perspective and gain your advice. You may feel that you do not have all the answers and that your life is sometimes out of control! Still, you are a few steps ahead of your mentee. Do not be afraid to counsel and advise anyway. Conversely, beware of inappropriate advice-giving or sharing too much.
Studying a book together is a long-standing method of mentoring. Choose a book from the Bible, a novel, biography, devotional or theological study. Make sure it interests you both and is appropriate for the goals of the mentee.
Prayer is essential if the mentoring relationship is to succeed in discerning what God is doing in the life of the mentee. Choose a form of prayer that is comfortable for you both—spontaneous open prayer, or guided prayer from a prayer book. Also, pray regularly for each person you are mentoring outside of your meetings. There is no better way to heighten your spiritual awareness for what God is doing in your relationship, then through prayer.
A Biblical Example of a Mentoring Relationship:
Elijah and Elisha
1 Kings 19:15-16, 19-21
2 Kings 2:1-2, 6-14
- In these Scripture passages, how readily does Elisha accept Elijah’s authority?
- Does Elijah show Elisha respect?
- Did these men demonstrate a good, healthy mentoring relationship?
- Elijah is the instrument that God used to call Elisha. How do wecommunicate to those we mentor that God may be calling them to dosomething?
- How do we invite them to take up their mantle?
- Elijah is a resource God used to develop Elisha’s prophetic leadership.What did Elijah observe?
- What questions do you think Elijah May have asked Elisha?
- What is a question a mentor might ask someone to gather information?
- What do you observe about the nature of the relationship between Elisha and Elijah?
- What are the mentoring lessons that can be learned from this example? It seems Elisha’s resolve is being tested in these stories. Is putting someone to the test part of mentoring? If so, how can it be done tastefully? Is challenging someone to identify what stands in the way of personal growth and development part of the mentoring process? How are these obstacles overcome? Discuss how “loyalty” and “presence” are key elements of the mentoring relationship in these stories. Think about “building on their strength” and “achieving on-going success.” How was Elijah building on Elisha’s strength and helping him to achieve on-going success as a prophet?
The purpose of our meetings is _______________________________________________ The spiritual goals we want to work on are _______________________________________ The personal life goals we want to work on are _____________________________________ The focus of our meetings is _________________________________________________ (ex. study, prayer, discussion, spiritual disciplines)
For the Mentee:
As a result of these meetings, how do you want to be different?____________________________________________________________
We agree to prioritize these meetings and meet regularly at___________ We agree to commit to meet for _______ weeks together, with a time to re-evaluate, enter and exit after that time.
- We agree to pray regularly for each other.
- We agree to come prepared for our meetings.
- We agree to maintain confidentiality regarding prayer requests and personal sharing.